


Not For the Last Time

by ebonysblues



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic Asexual Character, Background Relationships, Crushes, Dating, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Character, Pining, Romance, Teen Angst, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:19:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2446766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebonysblues/pseuds/ebonysblues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil pines over Todd and angsts about telling his father he wants to be an actor. Don't worry, he eventually gets his act together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Wonder If the Snow Loves the Trees and Fields

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Anderperry fic! It's not beta'd so all mistakes are mine. Dead Poets Society is my favorite movie, I've watched it a thousand times or more. I hope you like this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles are from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. 
> 
> "I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, 'Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.'"

It's been months since Neil had first met Todd, weeks since he had discovered that he had a crush on him, and several days since he had realized that he was in love with the beautiful blond boy.

Neil's unsure of how long he's going to be able to withstand the pain of his desire. It's just that Neil feels love every time he looks into Todd's eyes, feels it whenever he listens to Todd read his poetry aloud, it aches in him when he happens to gaze at him sleeping- alone, in his own bed. Neil wants nothing more than to be able to share the same bed as Todd so that they could just hold each other and whisper sweet nothings back and forth into the dead of night, where both would be asleep and breathing hot air into each other's necks.

He doubts his capability of being strong enough to continue fighting the urge to hold Todd, kiss him... make love to him. He wishes for the day when Todd knows just how he feels about him and maybe, just maybe, Todd feels the same way.

Neil begins to think of different ways to tell Todd his feelings, albeit every scenario seems wrong. Some too cliche, others too wild, mostly-

 

Todd whispers in a hushed voice into the dark, breaking off Neil's thoughts. "Neil?"

Neil's breath hitches in his throat and his heart begins to beat faster. He, for a second, ridiculously worries that Todd is able to hear his thoughts. He immediately scolds himself for thinking something so foolish.

"Yes, Todd?" Neil questions. 

Todd's silent for a moment, before he responds. "You're still awake?" He asks back in his usual quiet tone.

Neil answers, "Yeah, I'm awake. What about you? Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I guess I've just got a lot on my mind," Todd responds, sighing. He shuffles in his bed just enough to make the slightest noise of shifted fabric. 

"I know what you mean," Neil states, comfortingly. He really does. Besides worrying about how to tell Todd his feelings, he has to figure out how to inform his father about Henley Hall. He supposes being upfront and honest about it is the best choice. Except for the fact that every time he comes close to telling the truth, his fears get the better of him. Normally, Neil is a very brave and outgoing person but recently whenever he goes near either his father or his friend, he becomes reserved, but what could he do? It was between that and lying and Neil knows he's a shitty liar (quite ironic seeing as how he's an actor).

"Neil?" Todd asks, once again.

"Yes?" 

"N-nevermind."

Neil begins to worry for his friend and says, "No, no, continue. Please, what is it? What were you going to say?"

Todd is silent for a couple seconds before taking a deep breath and saying, "I was wondering, I mean, you don't have to... if you don't want to.  I was wondering if you would like to listen to a poem I've been working on? I-It's not going to be good or anything, I've only begun to start writing it, but um... would you? Listen to it, that is."

It's rare for Todd to initiate sharing his poems, so Neil feels a sharp burst of pride in him. The brunet smiles, almost laughs with joy but thinks better of it because Todd might think of it as making fun of him. Neil thinks his heart is going to beat out of his chest, his words rush out of him too quick for him to stop, "Yes! Uh, I mean, yeah, I would love to." Neil tries to play it off as nonchalant instead of overeager but knows he failed devastatingly.

"Neil, do you mind turning the light on?" Todd asks politely.

"No, no, not at all! I'll get it." He says, as he does as Todd asked. He reaches to his side and pulls on the cord to the lamp, turning it on. 

Todd sits up from his bed to dig through his desk drawers, and pulls out what he was apparently looking for; a black and white composition book. "This is where I write all of my poems," He explains, and then starts to flip through the pages until he finds the one he's been looking for.

"Like I said, It's not going to be good or anything." His tone is timid, edging onto frightened. 

Neil immediately feels the urge to grab the blond boy and hold him, comfort him, allow him to feel safe to say whatever he wants. Not knowing whether or not Todd would be accepting of that is what stops him. Although he allows himself to gift a few words, "Todd, I'm sure your poem is absolutely perfect! You're an amazing writer, anything you write is bound to be good."

He smiles at Todd, knowingly, and continues on, "Even if you have only just started writing it." He says this definitively, adding to the level of reassurance to his words.

"Really? You think so?" Todd asks tentatively.

"I do," Neil says to him, hopefully not for the last time. Neil can make out a faint smile on Todd's face through the dim light of the lamp, and he smiles back.

"Okay, here goes," Todd says, looking quite flustered. In turn, making Neil's heart beat pick up a faster pace.

 

* * *

 

Todd finishes reading, feeling a welcomed sense of accomplishment. He lifts his head up and finds Neil staring at him in awe. Todd smiles shyly, and turns his face away, trying to avoid Neil's eyes. He didn't want to make it anymore awkward than it already was.

"You are...  _extraordinary_ ," Neil says, certain. Todd turns his head back sharply to meet Neil's eyes, feeling shocked and strangely exhilarated.

"Um, what?" Todd asks for clarification. He doesn't think of himself as extraordinary, nor does he believe that someone else can.

"Todd," Neil says, a bit shakily. In spite of this, he professes what he has for so long desired to tell the blond,  " _Todd,  I'm in love with you_."

 

Todd's heart skips, his breath catches, his body stills. Everything stops.

Anger builds up in him. He should have known that this was too good to be true. He should have known Neil was just a jerk who wanted to mess around with him, hurt him. He tries to be as quiet as possible when saying his next words, knowing they could be caught any second. " _Don't say that. Don't you dare say that_. Lying to me is one thing, but you can't just _mess_ with my feeli-"

"I'm not lying to you, Todd! Dead poets honor! _I'm in love with you._ " Neil cuts in. He rushes up off the bed, and subtracts the space between the two of them.

The teen slides his knees between Todd's thighs, places a hand on the back of Todd's neck and the other on his cheek. Neil brings them face to face,  close enough so that they begin to breathe the same air. Todd can feel sweat gathering on his forehead, a knot in his throat and butterflies in his stomach. He tries to say something and realizes the knot is prohibiting him from doing so. Neil beats him to it and says, "I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since that day in Mr. Keating's class when you had to recite an original poem, or maybe I've been in love with you for longer than that. I don't know. Either way, I can't stop thinking about you, and me... and us."

"What about us?" Todd whispers, the knot in his throat beginning to recede. Todd's, well, _confused_. Does Neil really feel that way about him? Todd feels inclined to believe him, Neil's an honest person and a terrible liar. If only the thoughts in his head weren't so self-deprecating. If only they could convince him that he was worthy of love and not the opposite.

"Well, what do you want us to be? I know what I want but I don't know how you feel about this," Neil says, showing a side of himself Todd had never seen before. His tone quiet and shy. The words sounded rather odd coming out of Neil's lips. Quiet and shy is _not_ how Neil should sound. Todd wants Neil to sound the way he usually does; happy and upbeat. Todd realizes he would do anything to have Neil sound like that again. So he does the only thing he could think of. No hindering thoughts, no voice in the back of his mind telling him he shouldn't. He just goes for it.

 

Todd crashes his lips against Neil's, not painfully, mind you, but swift and soft. Neil is still for a second, frozen from shock, until he recovers and kisses back eagerly. Their lips slide against each other's. Neil quickly gains control of the kiss and overpowers Todd. Neil runs his fingers through Todd's hair, slightly tugging on it with one hand, and with the other he rubs circles into Todd's cheek. Todd feels Neil's tongue graze his bottom lip, asking for entrance. He accepts, opening his mouth a little wider to let Neil come through. Neil's tongue attempts to battle for dominance which is easily gained because Todd basically forfeits, allowing Neil to freely roam every inch of Todd's mouth. Todd places his hands on Neil's waist, fingering the hem of his white t-shirt, he slips his fingers under and slowly massages Neil's back. Neil smiles into the kiss so widely that he has to pull away. When he does, he says, "So this is what you want then?"

"Yes," Todd replies, definitely not for the last time.


	2. That It Kisses Them So Gently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens once Neil and Todd are together (aka absolute fluff).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured this was long overdue (how has it been over a year since I wrote ch. 1???).

Cold air wafts around Todd and Neil's room and settles itself around them.  It has long since finished wrapping them in goose flesh so now it lingers around haphazardly. It's mid-February (Valentine's day, to be specific) and sadly the building walls aren't thick enough to protect the two from the icy weather. The young men don't mind it that much seeing as how they have each other to hold onto. 

Yes,  they're wrapped up in one another just as the goosebumps are. Truth be told,  it isn't just the cold that has their flesh that way. It's more likely because of the touching; the soft, intimate, and glorious touching. Neil's fingers are traveling the bare skin of Todd's back, they edge the ridges of his spine going downward until reaching the small of his back. This is all while Todd's hands are placed in Neil's hair,  scratching slightly at the skin causing an even brighter smile to fall upon his face. The blond's fingers weave through the dark tufts of hair and play with the strands in absolute content.  

Todd hadn't ever believed that this would be a reality. This exact scene had played through his mind many times before as a desire, something hoped for but not yet achieved. It wasn't until Neil had confessed his feelings for him that the hopes had turned into actuality. 

He's thankful to any and all gods for the love he and Neil share.  He almost can't believe there was ever a time they didn't know the other existed.  It seems to him as if they had loved each other their entire lives,  before first sight and touch and any other sense. Is he being too poetic? Maybe, but he's in love so it's practically expected. 

He thinks back to the moment he had met Neil and every moment after. And then he smiles, his lips pressing against Neil's chest in an almost kiss. 

 

Neil is so content that it's as if his heart is wrapped up in a cloud, surrounded by the softest substance in the world. These moments with Todd are the ones he cherishes the most, they're always leaving him with this pure happy feeling. They rival with the moment he finally grew enough courage to tell his father about acting in a play.

His father hadn't been too happy and reacted exactly as Neil had feared but when Neil had confided in him it seemed maybe there was hope. Neil went on to tell Mr. Perry exactly how much it meant to him and what it would do to him if he couldn't continue to do it. It was then that his father's face had softened and his voice had lowered, he suggested Neil could have from then until two years after graduating from Wellton to pursue acting and if he didn't make it, well... He'd make a fine doctor. 

It's been a few months since then and it'll be another year or so before he even graduates. He's lucky in the fact that he got the role of Brutus in Julius Caesar shortly after Midsummer. Neil also starred in Romeo and Juliet as Mercutio just the other day and he has an audition lined up for Hamlet. He figures he'll be alright for a while. Especially with Todd by his side. Figuratively and literally.

 

Todd soon begins to place kisses on Neil's chest, they lead downward until Todd's lips are just below Neil's belly button. Right when Neil thinks Todd will go lower the blond makes his way back up, pressing his mouth to Neil's jugular. 

"You're such a tease, Todd."

The blond laughs, moving away slightly, he moves his face directly above Neil's and smiles. He gazes into the boy's brown eyes, gets lost in them.

He finds his way back when Neil says his name, the single word gracing the area with it's presence. 

"Hmm?" 

Neil chuckles, his chest rumbling just a bit. "I love you."

Todd's cheeks become flushed at the statement, not unlike the other times they've grown red simply because Neil... well, did anything, really. 

"I love you,  too," he responds, sincerely. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if there will be more. Maybe? 
> 
> (As of 9/30/16, Definitely)


	3. And Then It Covers Them Up Snug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The continuation of Neil and Todd's story in which the two finally tell the Dead Poets Society that they're a couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (dates have been changed as of 2-13-17)
> 
> The pov switches, hopefully it's not too confusing. Also, in this fic Nuwanda is nonbinary, Pitts is aroace (on the romantically and sexually repulsed end of the spectrum), and Cameron doesn't exist! And neither does homophobia for that matter
> 
> I apologize for the 7 month wait. And the different writing styles between the chapters as a result

**February 18. Keating's class.**

Neil slips a carefully folded note to Pitts, who in turn slips it to the person in front of him, and so on, and so forth, all in an effort to have a letter inevitably reach Todd, who beams the very second the piece of paper becomes clasped in his hand. His eyes shine exuberantly too, they fill with love and joy that's so bright it can't possibly be ignored. He also gets a blush to his cheeks, one he knows Neil is smiling at. The brunet greatly enjoys being able to make Todd's face fill with a crimson tint.  
  
The letter is opened underneath his desk since Todd's never been comfortable having others glance at something so sentimental and he likes not having to explain anything to anyone. Especially his classmates, who had recently taken a liking to the topic of his and Neil's relationship. Though, if anyone were to ask, they'd say they have a _friendship._ Neil and Todd had come to a conclusion early on that they wouldn't tell anyone for privacy reasons.

Besides, his classmates would only tease him. Like they're currently doing to Spaz, who seems to have just wanted to sit down but couldn't due to Sam and Woodsie.  
  
After watching Pitts and Meeks help the poor guy out, Todd's eyes train on Neil's calligraphy, he carefully reads every word:

  
  
_To Todd, the most beautiful thing in existence,_  
  
_When I was younger, my mother told me a story about a boy who fell in love with a rock. And I do mean 'love'. I'd ask her to tell it to me over and over again. It'd always put a silly grin on my face! There was never a time where I wouldn't laugh upon listening to it. Embarrassing, right? Todd, my love, times have changed. I'd much rather listen to the sound of you. It'd make me the most blissful person on this planet if I were to be able to hear the sound of your voice every day. That soft tone of yours... I love it. I love you! Like a nightingale loves to sing! I'd sing to you forever and ever, you know that. In saecula saeculorum. But only if you sang along, only if you allowed me to worship the timbre of your voice with my own. Oh, certainly you could go as long as you wished without uttering a single word! The taste of your lips, your skin, would be a suitable replacement. Which reminds me, I would like more of your delightful kisses. And soon._

  
  
_Love,  Neil_  
  
  
  
Todd struggles to not laugh aloud at the clinginess and absolute neediness of his boyfriend. He clearly recalls the two of them sharing some 'delightful kisses' that very morning. He has the marks on his chest to prove it. Shifting in his seat, he looks pointedly at Neil, who seems to have been staring at him the entire time he was reading. His thick eyebrows quirk upwards, silently asking how Todd feels about the letter.  
  
A smile is given to Neil as a reward for his efforts, but it's shortly lived as Keating makes an announcement.  
  
  
  
"Students!" Keating booms, "Quiet for a moment, please." A hush fills the room, silences the mouths of the eager adolescents awaiting a brand new enlightening lesson.

*

A love letter in response makes its way to Neil that evening in the form of soft kissing, quiet moaning, and heated touching.

 

**February 20. Neil and Todd's dorm room.**

Sitting hunched over at his desk, Todd works on writing a sonnet, all while listening to his boyfriend passionately tell him about his last audition.

“The script is completely enthralling, Todd! I swear to you, this part is going to be the best thing for me!” Neil's almost shouting now as he paces around their room, practically causing a draft. The passion he has is so evident that Todd could see it without even turning around in his seat. “I must get it, oh, I don't know what I'll do if I don't! I need this part!”

Todd shows his teeth with a look of amusement, continuing still to write, “You'll get the part, Neil. There's no doubt about that.”

A pair of lips press against Todd's cheek, surprising him, before a response is made, “Thanks, darling.” Neil gives Todd another kiss, this time on his mouth. The kiss is slow and drawn out so they can simply enjoy the moment and bask in each other.

When their lips pull away, Neil nudges Todd's nose with his own and then leaves him to his writing, hoping he had just given the love of his life some inspiration.

  
  
**February 22**  
  
"Nuwanda?" A timid voice asks from the doorway of Dalton's dorm room.  
  
A huff is heard in response, Nuwanda too preoccupied in procrastinating on their Chemistry homework to have an interest in a visitor. That is to say they were busy drawing- as per usual.

Nuwanda indifferently yells out to whoever had decided to bother them, "What do you want?" They look up from the textbook they're doodling in and see the familiar face of Todd Anderson.  
  
The blond’s eyes cast themselves downward to the floor, anywhere besides Nuwanda's face, causing Nuwanda to press their lips together tightly. They wish Todd would be more open with them, like the way he is with Neil. They suppose that the two have a different bond though.  
  
Nuwanda figures all they can do is show Todd how much he means to them. "It's alright. Hey, c'mon in! Sit down, take a breath, and talk to me," they respond, in order to ease Todd as much as possible. They gift the boy with their signature cheeky grin and pat the empty space on the bed next to him.  
  
Todd grins tentatively as he makes his way over to Nuwanda's bed and takes a seat.  
  
"So... what can I do'ya for?"  
  
Todd remains quiet. Nuwanda lets him be, offers him a chance to collect his thoughts together. He does and says, "It's going to be Neil's birthday soon and, um, I want to give him something but I-” he pauses, catching a breath as if simply talking was wearing him out, “I don't know what exactly. I just thought since you and Neil have known each other for a long time you'd be able to tell me what he'd like as a present."  
  
Huh... Todd really does care about him then. Nuwanda's never known Todd to say more than a sentence at a time, yet here he is asking about what to get Neil for his birthday, which isn't even for another month. They hum in thought,  "Well, you two have been spending lots of time together, haven't you?" Nuwanda inquires.  
  
Todd full on blushes, his cheeks fill red and threaten to contaminate his neck. "What do-" He pauses to take a gulp of air, "What do you mean by that?"  
  
Nuwanda's eyes narrow, he hadn't wanted to embarrass Todd or anything of the sort, but it seems like he had anyway, "I mean," they pause, unsure of how to play this out. They decide to let it go, "You two know each other well enough. I think you should go with the soul, you can't go wrong that way. If you think he'll like it, then he will."  
  
Biting his lip, Todd mumbles, "Right, of course, but it's just... I can't stop thinking that I'll get him something he hates and that he'll break u- uh, I mean, that he'll not want to be my friend anymore."

Todd visibly cringes after he utters his statement, and then tenses up, obviously worried. Nuwanda hopes that he isn't already beating himself up over his slip-up but they know the blond and know that isn't likely to be the case. Nuwanda starts to talk faster than a pin could drop in order to cut any possible tension. Nuwanda tells Todd that Neil’s more of a substance over style kind of person and that _anything_ Todd gives him will become an object of sentimental value.  

Nuwanda _doesn't_ tell Todd about how much sentimental value it would have to Neil, ponders whether Todd already knows how much of a sap Neil is, and comes to the conclusion that 'yes, Todd knows' but 'he doesn't  _know_ ', otherwise he wouldn't have asked them for help.

They had considered the possibility of Neil liking Todd way back in November,  had seen the looks, heard the wistful sighs, and had come to the conclusion that his best friend was pining. Pining hard if Nuwanda, or anyone else for that matter, had any say.

Come to think of it, things are different now. Perhaps not by much, but definitely to an extent. When Neil looks at Todd now it isn't with the ‘I want to be yours’ kind of glances, it's the ‘I'm yours and will continue to be for as long as you'll have me’ kind of glances. Nuwanda would say they're an expert in those kinds of looks. With firsthand experience and all. And even if they weren't an expert,  they know enough about Neil to know when he's hiding something. The boy’s a shit liar. Nuwanda can't possibly figure out how Neil could honestly believe that no one would find out that he and Todd are a thing. Then again, he's probably too infatuated to even _notice_ that his friends have realized he's hiding something.

Either way, Nuwanda knows Neil and Todd will confess that they're together on their own time. And if they decide to never let anyone know, well, that's okay, too. It wouldn't make much of a difference either way in regards to Neil and Todd anyway. Though Nuwanda isn't so sure about their own relationship...

Nuwanda comes back to earth once Todd begins to talk. The boy was in thought as well, but has seemingly come up with a response, “You’re right, Nuwanda,” he stops to smile at them and then continues, “Thank you.”

Smiling back, they say, “Not a problem.” 

Todd gives a sort of 'goodbye’ nod, sits up from Nuwanda's bed, and makes his way to his own dorm room. Nuwanda watches him leave before turning back to the textbook and continuing his previous endeavor.

  
  
**February 28**  
  
The air in Neil and Todd's dorm room becomes charged as the two boys kiss each other, their wandering hands add a spark whilst their lower halves become lit matches near a lighter fluid, close to setting a fire. Neil lies atop Todd, his body between his boyfriend's legs. The perfect position, he'd say.  
  
Neil's lips join Todd's, kissing him with fervor and adoration. Todd's fingers clutch onto soft brown strands, tugging and pulling with every lick Neil makes into his mouth. They both make a sound when Neil places his mouth to the skin of Todd's neck, he sucks and nibbles at the pale flesh, barely making it pink.

He wishes he could make it purple or red, he wishes he could show everyone that he and Todd are together, he wishes- _What's stopping him?_ What's the worst that could happen by letting people know that he and Todd are in a relationship? Besides the rooming situation, of course.

Neil pulls away to look into Todd's eyes. He brings his hand up to let his thumb travel along the curve of the boy's jaw, and asks, “What do you think about letting everyone know that we're dating?”

“Neil, I think…” Todd leans into Neil's touch and finishes his thought, “I think some of them already know.”

Neil laughs at that, laughs because he thinks so too. Todd laughs along with him, the sound making Neil's heart flutter, and ducks his head onto Neil's chest for a second. They laugh together until Todd says something else, “I think we should. I… I want to.”

Neil nods and tells him they'll talk about the specifics at another time, with a certain glint in his eye. Todd chuckles, knowing his boyfriend just wants to kiss some more (and more than just kiss, honestly).

  
  
*

They fall asleep that night in each other's arms, sated and well cared for.

**March 12. Study Hall.**

Applause echoes through the room and out into the hall when Neil announces that he got the part of the lead, it's absolutely rambunctious and almost makes them all have an early lights out, which Neil thinks would be worth all of the attention he's being given.

Wellton Academy's students start surrounding the up-and-coming actor, many of them slap a hand on his back or shout out a word of praise to him. Neil can't help but remember the reaction to when he had gotten cast in his first play and compare it to now. Things were different then, and so was he.

He's changed in recent past. He's so unlike the person he was then, he's almost an entirely new person. He's happy. In every sense of the word- he's happy. He used to be a pair of hands in front of a fire, discovering how close they can get until they burn and how far away to stay lest they wish to freeze. Now? He is the fire. A fire that apparently needs a lot of mending in order to stay lit, but a fire nonetheless.

Nuwanda congratulates Neil with an eager hug that lifts him up into the air and takes all the air out of his lungs for a moment. Neil utters a complaint while laughing after he's set free.

Meanwhile, Meeks gives him a friendly hand on the shoulder and says, “Good job, Neil!”

A peppering of compliments are thrown his way from Knox, who clearly can't stop the pride he feels from bursting out of him. He certainly gives Neil a strong sense of recognition and a solid stroke to his ego. Neil thanks him, fondly and meaningfully.

And Pitts, the gentle giant that he is, simply pulls him into a tight hug, complete with a back pat and a chin rest.

Neil enjoys the attention for the rest of the night, beside Todd the entire time. He even gives his classmates a glimpse of what they'll see when they go to opening night.

Eyes place themselves on Neil, grow enticed and unable to force themselves to look away as he puts on a show. Eyes gleam with wonder as they stare at Neil's marvelous and perfect performance, as they stare at Neil in all his glory and talent. Eyes fill with magic as the embodiment of every Greek God looks back at them.  

They're told to go to their rooms right after Neil finishes and it almost seems like serendipity the way that Neil had barely ended his scene when Mccallister had yelled for them to go to bed, as if the universe wanted them to have that moment to themselves or to have a truly beautiful and significant moment connect them in a way like never before.

Neil quite likes the universe.

  
**March 14. 1am. The Cave.**

Moments after the laughter from watching Nuwanda recite Ode to Autumn in an absurdly sexual manner dies down Todd nudges Neil, to which Neil faces him and nods. He clears his throat and gathers the attention of the other dead poets society members. The boys all look expectantly towards Neil but are pleasantly surprised to see that it's Todd who begins to talk.  
  
"Neil and I have something we want to tell you." Todd says. He looks into the eyes of his friends as he speaks before his blue orbs land on Neil and rest there.  
  
Neil gazes back at Todd, lovingly, and then adds in, "Todd and I are dating." He begrudgingly pulls his eyes away from Todd's face to look at the reactions of his friends (the look he was giving his boyfriend should have been enough of a tell, really).  
  
Meanwhile, Todd slips his hand into Neil's, rubs his thumb along his boyfriend's soft skin, and beams. A fond expression grows on his face, wide, ear to ear. A burst of relief and joy leaps from him, envelopes the cave in light shining brighter than even the stars.  
  
Meeks notices it, notices how happy Todd looks, he recognizes it in himself as well. He laughs, and claps alongside Nuwanda, who seems to be looking as smug as ever. Meeks rolls his eyes at that.

Meeks isn't sure if he should act like he's surprised, or if he should simply congratulate the two on finally admitting their relationship. He decides on going with the latter option. He sits up from where he's seated and walks over to the two, immediately brings them both into a hug. His arms wrap around both of their waists, Neil's chin rests on his shoulder, while Todd noses at the crook of Meeks’ neck. “Thanks for telling us! We're so proud of you!”

Todd smiles and Meeks feels it. He smiles too.

“Yeah! We're happy for you two!” Pitts adds in, getting up as well. He practically leaps onto the three of them, enthusiastically joins in on the hug.  
  
Pitts knew they were together the entire time as well. In fact, he knows that all of their classmates knew they were together, even Keating (but not Nolan or any other of the higher-ups, thankfully). It's been a sort of game to some, to see what it would take for one of them to confess. Neil's almost gave it away several times but has never actually done it, surprisingly. At least that's what Hopkins had told him when he asked. Beans, meanwhile, said Todd never even let him tease him about Neil, he's good at deflection apparently. In every conversation he'd had with him he'd do all the talking and just when he thought Todd would carry the conversation onwards he'd instead turn away and leave faster than Beans could say the word 'goodbye’. Pitts had laughed when he heard that. He's still mad at the boys for trying to rush Neil and Todd into telling them all that they're a couple.

He's also mad at them for not understanding that he doesn't want something like that- a relationship. He's fine with companionship, sure, friendship is the best thing to ever exist, but a romantic relationship is not in the cards for Gerard Pitts. Why can't they get that? What would it take for them to understand?

Pitts resolves to focus on the moment as he feels an arm go around his shoulder. He rotates his head, sees Knox, and laughs. Knox has been the most eager in awaiting Neil and Todd's coming out. He's such a sucker for a happy, romantic ending.

An immense feeling of elation comes over Pitts, it rushes through his veins and fills him with euphoria. Here he is with all of his friends… Happy.

Nuwanda joins in and that's when things honestly feel complete, perfect in a way. They hold on to each other, laughing, joking. And everything's good.

That's when a single sentence from Nuwanda brings the cave down.

  
" _Suppose it's a good time to tell you all that Meeks and I are dating?"_  
  
  
  
**March 21. Todd and Neil's dorm room.**  
  
"Todd, you really didn't have to get me anything. I told you-"  
  
The dark blond shushes Neil once again, and eagerly waits for him to start unwrapping his gift. He's sure that Neil will love it. Well, _almost_ sure, but he's been working on being optimistic and telling the negative voice in his head to quiet down, so he's  _sure._  
  
He then frowns, seeing Neil painstakingly try not to ruin the wrapping paper. "Neil," he whines, physically wounded by all the effort he was making in not simply ripping the paper off _for_ him.  
  
"Hold on, Todd! I want to savor this!"  
  
Neil brings his attention to the boy sitting next to him. He kisses him softly and shortly, ruining Todd's frown and mutating it into a grin, before turning back to the present. He's got it halfway unwrapped now but still only has the shape to go off of.

Once the wrapping comes off, Neil blankly stares at it and says, “It's a box.”

Todd chuckles lovingly yet no less frustratedly, “Yes, now _open_ it.”

Neil does and laughs.

“ _I love it..._ ”

Todd laughs too, then lets out a sigh of relief. His breath is swallowed up by Neil who quickly takes his lips into his own, kissing him, and moving their mouths against each other's, softly, and slowly.

 

_“But not nearly as much as I love you.” Neil finishes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To avoid not updating once a year... I'm giving myself a deadline. Next update will be in two weeks exactly!
> 
> Fun fact! I was initially going to have Neil's birthday be the 1st of April but then I remembered that's April Fool's Day and I just couldn't do that to my son. 
> 
> Also, how was that? Anything you didn't like? Did like?

**Author's Note:**

> Criticism is appreciated!


End file.
